2.13 O Brother, Where Bart Thou

Whether you liked the episode or despised the writers efforts to create whatever it is they had in mind, O Brother, Where Bart Thou? is a very important part of Gossip Girl's entire history.

I did my homework, I made some research, I noticed people's various reactions to this week's plot. We can't go back in time. This episode still doesn't erase all the crap they've been pulling. But it was a good episode. For me, it was glass-shattering.

They succeeded in making me feel funny. I cried whole-heartedly, and then I felt mad, and then I wept and felt mad all over again.
The most powerful feelings of this season and late season 1 were present, strongly. Some of them were torn, others solidified. Tonight, the negatives are positively gold.

Direness
Previously on Gossip Girl, am I alone in thinking that Lily said "Bart has been in an accident" with the Icky face, like it's not sad, just a tad inconvenient? "Serena, I have to go. Senile Bart pooped on the couch". At least Gossip Girl seems happy. I'm not, I like Bart. I still hope he's somewhere, preparing to attack Lily. So Gossip Girl is happy, and so is Serena, and so is Grandmother Cece. In the beginning, Lily at least had the grace to appear demented.

Attachment
Did Eleanor just suggest to Blair that she should marry Chuck? Can't deny it's a good idea. Oh, I love Mr Hall. I'm so happy he makes Blair happy. "How can you even think of your vacations the day they're putting Bart in the ground?" Well, B, you think your mom is bad, but you don't know that Lily woman.
Serena still looks slutty even going to her stepfather's funeral. I'm just saying - Why is Dan here again? Oh, I get, perhaps she called him because your stepfather's burial is the perfect excuse to reapproach an ex-boyfriend.

Thrill
Westwick looks hot when he's down. And Bart's last words are possibly his best since ever. I like him, I love him, I want him to make a sudden appearance in black gloves for vendetta. Hey, Bart, do you know Vanessa hates skycrapers and rich people? Can you imagine?
Well, Bart didn't come back from the dead yet, but Jonathan, the gay boyfriend, did. I'm still not sure why.
Funny how Serena isn't worried about Chuck at all. It's probably because he's not hot to bang her, or whatever.
Chuck, Blair and Nate together are pure win. This is where Nate belongs, nowhere else, soon the writers will understand that too. And then we can get rid of Vanessa, who... FUCK! I can't stop thinking of her even when she's not there. I hate you, stupid lucid nightmare.

Insanity
Omigosh. Chuck just came running berserk towards Dan, speaking funny. I had to laugh, sorry.
"Chuck, Dan has been helping us, unlike you!" And she touched him. And Blair didn't slap her across the face. What's wrong with the Upper East Side? And who wrote this scene? It's horrible. Makes no sense whatsoever.
At least Eric is looking like he gets it. He knows his wicked mater.
Then it cuts to Dan reaching home in 5 seconds time and relating everything to Rufus, who looks blatantly guilty, and some idiot out of nowhere puts on the ha-ha music in the background, and you just know they're trying to piss you off.


Desideratum
We wouldn't have survived this episode without Blair, Nate and Mr Hall. Nor would Chuck. The van der Basses suite is the Evilest Pad of Hell. Speaking of which, what the hell is Jenny doing?
"Chuck has publicly disowned us". She is Serena van der Woodsen, the most talked about wrecked whore of the Upper East Side. What is it she's saying? The grieving son of the de cujus is embarrassing her flawless family?
Now I can only imagine what would have been if Vanessa's writer managed to include her awful figure in this episode. I'm so grateful he didn't. We need more funerals if it means taking time off that wretched character - let's start with hers.

Aftermath
I don't know what is it Westwick does with his eyes, but he's good. He's all good. Now, why was it again she hit him? Can't she control her hands? Seriously. Misfired.
Oh, Eric, come here. Shrieking Chuckles loves you. It's just that your mother killed his father, but you'll be together in the end, when all the obstacles are removed. By the way, have you heard Vanessa is homophobic?
If on one hand, Lily the Ultraviolent and Cece's conversation was accurate, on the other, Blair's Speech was everything but right.

Imperfection
What was that? What was she babbling about? I'm me, you're you; I'm Blair, you're Chuck, I'm Chuck, you're Blair, I'm Tarzan, you're Jane. So not epic. She should have told him she loved him later. They're soothing words, but not painkillers.
But it wasn't all bad. She said she would stand by him through the darkest thoughts he'd ever have. I don't really know what that means, but I wanna watch it when she gets to do that, whatever it is. And you know why would I do that? Because I love you, Chair.
Then he looked touched and at a loss, and she looked perplexed and in pain. And I loved them more. I'm a masochist for their scenes only.

Absurdity
"Don't worry, Serena. Chuck was grieving and I understand that after what happened to his father..."
"What? Whose father? Oooh, no, I'm not here to talk about Chuckie boy. I don't care for Chuck at all. I'm here because I'm going to Buenos Aires, and I wanted to ask you in what continent is it located".
Have Blair ever spoken to Aaron Rose, at all? Well, she's talking to his father a lot, which is so warming to presence.
Lily is running away with Rufus because who cares? No one grieves Bart but Chuck. Not even a boot-licker intern trying to climb the social-bizz ladder. And where are the Trumps? In California?

Wipeout
The episode could have been about grief and sadness and darkness. Instead, there comes Serena, acting poorly and cracking the atmosphere.
Also, filed under the lousy plots tag, there is The Secret, the Science of Already Being Rich and Now Getting Filthy.
"You don't want THIS to become public"
"What is IT?"
"THIS is exactly what you think IT is"
Oh, now that was a good one. But then comes elder Humphrey.
"Wait! I know what it is! Or was. Well, I can't say absolutely for sure whether it's a boy or a girl or dead or alive. Or if it is, or was, or..."
Okay, people. We get it. We knew from the start, no rocket science. It's more like a big, yellow, striking cliché, too juvenile a plot for such old persons.

Lovingness
The indescribable moment when Blair held Chuck for his dear life, I felt some very acute pain. We're as lost in the storylines as these children. So much love, so much desperation. He didn't say it back to her yet [that belongs to another chapter far from now], but we saw in his eyes He loves her. Now we'll never let it go.

Startover
"Thank you for telling me that you're in love with Lily Bass and preparing to escape to Dominica". Oh, no, wrong parent. But that's what they do quite often, isn't it? They leave for Paris, Lyon, Dominica, Hudson, Cornwall. 40s going on 17.
Don't you just love to closely view how Lily's all-guilty and innocent little smile fades before Rufus somber expression? Just tell me one thing: is it what I thought you think it was? No, don't bother. Here comes a scene much more important.
What is Gossip Girl talking about? Blair didn't loose anything. She's made of win, and so is Chuck.