Cough, cough... I'm not biased. I was faithfully hoping for something spectacular, I'm not the one to blame if they could only deliver cheap drama.
This picture represents a fabulous New Yorkish scenary much like Sex and the City. Don't be fooled, Gossip Girl is only 10% of the time like that.
Gossip Girl insists on going too fast. Arc after arc, every one of them more fantastic and unreal than the precedent. And everything is colourful. Why can't the rich kids ever go to a dark alley in the City in a storyline about drug abuse? Rather, they get in a crazy trip to Santorini no one even gets to see.
Come on. The show doesn't even portray the lifestyle of millionaire bitches such as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Kate Moss etc. We see no crack, no cocaine, no badass dealers (not like Kevin Volchok please, we so don't need that artificial shite), no overdoses (flashback does not count), no DUI, no sex tapes. Actually, the only thing we got up until now was Jenny stealing Hazel's mother's Valentino.
But come to think about it, with Josh Schwartz on board failure was inevitable. The O.C., his masterpiece, is the most fake though boring television series till this date. Why should we expect any different with Gossip Girl? Err... Because he had a fucking guide previously written and quite successful called Gossip Girl, the book series. He could at least preserve the same fucking pace. Don't get me wrong, I think the books suck, but they're realer and slower.
So that's what I wish for Gossip Girl this season! That it gets dark and slow. And rid of Vanessa.
Since not even Gawker wants to recap Gossip Girl anymore, let's just tally points like everybody else. The episode sucks, so it's not like we could give them props anyway.
How much does Gossip Girl antics get under your skin?
4% Chuck and Blair little RPG could be hot, if it wasn't childish. And since Blair doesn't really enjoy it, it's abusive.
6% They gave Nate another stupid romantic storyline! If they really want to rewrite Nathaniel Archibald, they need to stop giving him isolated storylines. He needs to be integrated in another character's plot.
5% Serena is the character with the more unbelievable storylines. Supernova? She's superinternational and superdumb. Couldn't she stay local and be a little funny?
1% Westwick is still histrionic.
2% Carter, one of the only characters I thought could provide a great arc, is completely out-of-character.
35% Vanessa is still there, speaking weirdly, like she's enumerating something. I could forgive any other flaw in the script, but her existence. That's how much I HATE her. Plus, she walks like a man.
Awright, I will give some kudos:
Still, Gossip Girl's premiere annoyed me 53% of the time. I'd say it's too much for an average episode. One can foresee it will get much worse.
XOXO.
This picture represents a fabulous New Yorkish scenary much like Sex and the City. Don't be fooled, Gossip Girl is only 10% of the time like that.Gossip Girl insists on going too fast. Arc after arc, every one of them more fantastic and unreal than the precedent. And everything is colourful. Why can't the rich kids ever go to a dark alley in the City in a storyline about drug abuse? Rather, they get in a crazy trip to Santorini no one even gets to see.
Come on. The show doesn't even portray the lifestyle of millionaire bitches such as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Kate Moss etc. We see no crack, no cocaine, no badass dealers (not like Kevin Volchok please, we so don't need that artificial shite), no overdoses (flashback does not count), no DUI, no sex tapes. Actually, the only thing we got up until now was Jenny stealing Hazel's mother's Valentino.
But come to think about it, with Josh Schwartz on board failure was inevitable. The O.C., his masterpiece, is the most fake though boring television series till this date. Why should we expect any different with Gossip Girl? Err... Because he had a fucking guide previously written and quite successful called Gossip Girl, the book series. He could at least preserve the same fucking pace. Don't get me wrong, I think the books suck, but they're realer and slower.
So that's what I wish for Gossip Girl this season! That it gets dark and slow. And rid of Vanessa.
Since not even Gawker wants to recap Gossip Girl anymore, let's just tally points like everybody else. The episode sucks, so it's not like we could give them props anyway.
How much does Gossip Girl antics get under your skin?
4% Chuck and Blair little RPG could be hot, if it wasn't childish. And since Blair doesn't really enjoy it, it's abusive.
6% They gave Nate another stupid romantic storyline! If they really want to rewrite Nathaniel Archibald, they need to stop giving him isolated storylines. He needs to be integrated in another character's plot.
5% Serena is the character with the more unbelievable storylines. Supernova? She's superinternational and superdumb. Couldn't she stay local and be a little funny?
1% Westwick is still histrionic.
2% Carter, one of the only characters I thought could provide a great arc, is completely out-of-character.
35% Vanessa is still there, speaking weirdly, like she's enumerating something. I could forgive any other flaw in the script, but her existence. That's how much I HATE her. Plus, she walks like a man.
Awright, I will give some kudos:
- Dan has became a playboy.
- Serena admoesting Blair. Thank goodness.
- Though Scott was born, literally, from a crappy storyline, he's OK.
Still, Gossip Girl's premiere annoyed me 53% of the time. I'd say it's too much for an average episode. One can foresee it will get much worse.
XOXO.
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2 comentários:
Where is the UES in GG? It's left to be carried by Jenny Hump-Van-Woodsen. First, she wanted to be queen. Then she didn't. Then she banished the monarchy. Then she decided she wanted to be queen and wanted the monarchy after all. Can she decide? And can she lay off a)the hooker clothes and b) masssive eyeliner? And sorry, but Jenny is no Blair and watching Jenny "rule" is as exciting as well nothing. It's not exciting period. Poor Erik, who's only used to prop Jenny's SL. When will Erik have an arc of his own? Probably best if he doesn't though, God only knows how they would make him un-awesome like they've done it with everyone else.
Rufus and Lily. I haven't liked them since Lily was a total bitch after Bart's death. I. Refuse. To. Get. Over. It. So haven't liked them one bit since S1, together, apart, whatever. And the love child. Oh dear God. First of, as Cher would say it: "Where did they find such a loser"? Second, and then they make him hook up with V? My God, did they WANT us to hate him or something? The V-hatred will only rub off anyone near V.
Speaking of V, urgh. Not even Anna Espinosa as your mother will make you anywhere near awesome. Hell, you're not even near being tolerable. And sorry if I don't give a shit about you trying to impress your mother and take your bad acting back to wherever you came from PLEASE!
God. Who's left to diss? Oh right. Chuck. Thankfully, they haven't focused as much on him as they did last year - at least not yet, so I've been spared. Although, I do make vomit-noises when I see him kissy-face with Blair, I usually just ignore him. Basically, I don't care for him. And how stupid is the whole I'm-cashing-in-my-Bart-shares-and-buying-a-hotel?
A. Bass Industries already owns a hotel - The Palace!
B. Meaning that owning a hotel doesn't cost THAT much that he has to cash in ALL his shares.
C. Please explain to me again how Chuck, who's greatest business experience so far is turning around a burlesque club is now a "business man". Why don't you just mock all of us who gain business experience through ACTUAL working or studies for several years for a business degree (me!), show?
D. So lame. And also, buying a well-established and financially healthy hotel is NOT a risky business move so stop trying to make us "concerned" for his stupid hotel! AAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
And finally, on top of that big, big mountain of GG hate, the biggest reason for it: Turning Blair into a useless, crybaby who hasn't got a fucking clue and screws up her own life and other people's lives just because she's having a bad hair day or something. URGH! JUST WTF SHOW! I can't even talk about it because I'm still mourning the loss of awesome-Blair, last seen around s2, pre-throwing ILYs at undeserving assholes.
Good night and good luck show. I'm holding out until Tripp's arc is done and then I'm out. FOR REAL.
Oh, God, I'm so, SO, so truly sorry for being absent all this time. The truth is that I got so DISGUSTED by the threesome stunt that I couldn't bear to think of GG at all.
I heard Treasure of Serena Madre or something to the same effect is the best episode so far this season. I don't think I'll try it anytime soon. Have ya?
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